food for thought

The MotherTalk Blog Tour Wrap-Up

2008-09-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

The MotherTalk bloggers have wrapped up their reviews of Mama, PhD, and I want to thank all of them for reading the book and spreading the word! Here are excerpts from the last few reviews; follow the links to read the complete post.

Review Planet says, "...I’m in love with the new book Mama, Ph.D. It’s a collection of stories from academic mamas who lay bare their souls about the hard times, the good parts, the special challenges (pumping in a maintenance closet — and then the dean walks in!), and why it’s all worthwhile. I think it’s also a good casebook of the situation today in many departments, and I hope that it will be used by someone or somegroup to start making changes. I hope.

Go check it out. Read about the theater director who takes her son to see the plays she’s directing, from backstage, with crayons. Meet the mom who adopted a child after years of infertility and a brain tumor, who found her balance at a nearby women’s college. Learn from the mathematician finding balance with three kids and a promising career. Gaze at the woman women with burgeoning bellies who still find strength to teach five classes and hold office hours.

I admire these women, for the lives they lead, and the sacrifices that they make to be fulfilled, to support their families, and to bring education and truth to the children that we raise up too. I only wish that the world would make it a little easier to both follow a passion and raise children passionately."

Viva La Feminista writes, "Mama PhD is heart wrenching and heartwarming at the same time. It shows how far we have to go as a society to truly value families and the contributions of working moms. I think this book could be replicated for almost any industry as well as with subfields of academia."

Writing in the Mountains says, "I loved reading these essays. They offered a personal view into these women's lives and a voice that tells everyone this situation needs to change."

And finally, Everyday Stranger writes, "It was well-written and engaging, and more than once I wanted to raise my fist in the air and shout "I know where you are!" (I wanted to say "Amen, sister", but am aware of the idiocy in further contributing to stereotypes. Still, first thoughts and all that.)

Monday at the MotherTalk Blog Tour

2008-09-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

The Black Belt Mama Review gave the book a black belt! She writes:

"At times, these essays enraged me... women who are mothers, the world's best multi-taskers, are made to feel like failures because they choose to procreate. At times these essays inspired me...hearing the tales of those who have done it, who have laughed in the face of these archaic institutions and said, "screw you!" At times, it just made me sad that there even has to be this discussion.

This was a great collection of essays. Heartfelt and poignant personal tales of women, mothers and scholars. Some have chosen one role over the other and some manage both despite the opposition. All of these women inspire me for their candor. Over the past year I have often thought about going back to get that PhD. Mama PhD has proved that I can do this...and I'm thinking I just might."

Tales from the Diaper Pail says, "The stories often draw from humor, sometimes dark, to highlight themes of loss and triumph through various stages of the academic path. Several themes resurface - the mind-body schism that seems even more poignant in an academic career as well as the feeling of ‘never enoughness’. The stories are well-written and at times, heartbreaking. ... Although these pieces are particularly relevant to mothers pursuing or in academic professions, I found themes through the book that were pertinent to women in all professions, where the pull to “perform childlessness” is quite real."

And finally, Mama(e) in Translation liked reading about our three biologists who have found fulfilling work from home: “I felt mightily comforted to read about the experiences of the three authors, Susan Bassow, Dana Campbell, and Liz Stockwell, and I can’t wait to participate in the website and resource for NTA (nontraditional academic) parents that they are planning to set up!”

Three More MotherTalk Mama, PhD Reviews...

2008-08-28T07:36:00.000-07:00

Crunchy Granola read the book after a meeting in which a new faculty member was told, "There's a university child care center, and efforts to expand it and create more flexible hours are underway. Child care has been at the top of the list of the faculty women's association for years now." Years?! Comments like this make me --and I think also Crunchy Granola--shake my head in frustration; just get it done, people. She comments, "the collection is a smart, funny-sad-crazy making-amazing-wonderful set of pieces that had me nodding as I read. The authors come from a variety of fields, and a range of institutions. This collection is well-worth reading for anyone considering an academic career, and also for any administrator mentoring faculty.

Mama PhD won't surprise anyone who's a reader of academic blogs. After all, there are lots of outlets these days for reading good personal writing on motherhood and academia, and I wondered whether I'd find the essays redundant or compelling. They were definitely compelling, though. I read quickly, learning about the different ways institutions create barriers for mothers advancing in their careers, or make it easier for those with children to advance. These are eloquent accounts of what choices women have made to accommodate their kids and careers."

21st Century Mom read from the perspective of someone who'd been a grad student in the 70s, and is now mother to two grown daughters, both of whom are considering motherhood and graduate work. She writes:

"We want it all - family, work, friends and time to train and figuring out how to do that is one of life's greatest tricks. The essays in Mama, PhD. are specific to being a mother in academia and address issues of sexism, negative perception and the tyranny of history but the solutions for how to "have it all" can be universally applied.

As a mother I want my daughters to "have it all" whatever that means to them. I want them to be able to define "it all" and to live a life that supports them in their efforts. I want their partners and their children, my future grandchildren, to "have it all" - a stable family, love, education, intellectual and cultural stimulation and financial stability. This book has, for me, been an antidote to the constant media messages telling us that trying to "have it all" is wrong, and selfish and impossible. Many of these women faced down the stereotypes, the negative attitudes, the professional denial and powered on, confident in their choices and their abilities.

I'll be sending this book to my oldest daughter soon with instructions to send it to her little sister when she's done. I hope they draw the same message from the book as did I. The world really can be your oyster as long as you can manage your time and your detractors and focus on your goals."

And finally, Third Culture Mamma writes: "This book has been described as one that should be given to all mothers in or thinking about entering academia. I would also like to add for those who are thinking about leaving academia. One of the strengths of this compilation, and there are many, is that it presents all sides: those who have or are about to jump into the deths of academia, those who are a making their way though it come hell of high water and those who have decided to leave it.

While some of the experiences recounted in this collection do tell of departments and colleagues that are supportive, it also drives home the point that academia is just the same as almost all other industries - mothers are not welcome with open arms. However, besides the negative aspects, reading this book made me feel at home. The passion I have for academia and the possibilities of merging ith with motherhood, not ignoring the numerous challenges that it brings and that are transmitted in the book, is what I wanted to read, to help me see a possible future back in academia, and becoming a Mama, PhD."

MotherTalk Blog Tour Round-Up

2008-08-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

More from the MotherTalk bloggers:

Christa writes: "This book is a must-have for any woman who intends to pursue motherhood and academics. In truth, it should be required reading IN the universities for everyone–male and female–in education."

And Susan says, "The writing in this book is alive, often very humorous, often fraught. The quality of these narratives is uniformly excellent. It’s creative nonfiction at its best: true stories that often read like fiction, with compelling narratives, and characters for whom much is at stake."

And finally, from They Grow In Your Heart: "This book gave me a great deal of encouragement because so many other women have decided to forgo teaching full time - like I have. And there was a continuing theme that it’s okay if motherhood takes over the academic side of your life. OR if you decide to pursue your career. But, at the same time, it’s sad. It’s sad for our students and for our schools that so many women feel forced to choose between having a family and being an educator.

Mama PhD is a great read for anyone in academia considering motherhood, any moms in academia looking for a better way, and for all administration in schools everywhere. Actually, maybe it should be required reading for administrators!"

On Campus with Women Reviews Mama, PhD

2008-08-23T17:46:00.001-07:00

The MotherTalk bloggers are taking the weekend off from their reviews, but here's another nice response to the book, from a recent issue of On Campus with Women:

"These frank essays recognize the value of communicating with others over shared experience, and they offer comfort and sustenance to women who have found that motherhood shakes the foundations of academe's infamous mind-body divide.

"...Celebratory but realistic, these essays illustrate the multitude of choices available (and still unavailable) to women and the great rewards (and considerable pitfalls) of fitting motherhood into the academic mold. In offering concrete suggestions to improve institutional support for women with children, the anthology connects personal experience to systemic change and gestures toward academe's potential to provide truly family-friendly workplaces. Its stories will be of interest to young scholars contemplating motherhood, to current parents who feel isolated by expectations that they "perform childlessness," and to anyone wondering how mothers are faring within the academy. "

Click here to read the complete review!

More from the MotherTalk/Mama, PhD Blog Tour

2008-08-21T16:56:00.001-07:00

Here's a round-up of the last few reviews of Mama, PhD from the MotherTalk bloggers:

Life in the Hundred Acre Wood writes, "Though the anthology paints an honest yet bleak picture of academia, it is not all gloom and doom. Some women do find ways to make it work (though a few had partners able to share equally in the child care). Others, such as the single mothers, are down right heroic in their abilities to balance their work hours with raising a family. But the essays that tugged at me most, were the ones where the unrelenting demands of academia had permanently derailed these brilliant and talented mothers from attaining the holy grail -- a tenured position at a major research university. These pieces were an unpleasant reminder of the number of brain cells lost to society when we don't accommodate parents."

PCOS Baby says, "It was a very open, sometimes brutally frank, look at the academy and essentially how it fails women who want to also have a family. And yes, some of the contributors talk about how it also fails men who want to have a family—but they also make the point that men are not responsible for the physical demands of both pregnancy, birth, and nursing a baby.

". . .I think this book should be required reading for any woman going into any sort of graduate education program. And their partners."

And just so you know that I'm not only quoting the raves, Here We Go Again had some nice things to say about the book--and does think it is a great book for our target audience--but mostly it really wasn't her cup of tea:

"In general, I didn't hate this book. I didn't like it much either. I wouldn't have bought it for myself. In my opinion, it wasn't really a book for pleasure reading, which is all I do now. However, if you want to write a scholarly paper on women in academia, cite away. This would be a great research tool or a great read if you were considering either becoming a professor or a graduate student and wanted to know how it worked with motherhood. But for casual reading, try Anne of Green Gables. (I am re-reading the eight book series this week. I am on book six, Anne of Ingleside, right now.)"

Of course, we also think that the book's right for anyone considering graduate work or a career in higher education, and interested in how that might work with family life, and we do like Anne of Green Gables, too, so we'll just agree to agree on that!

MotherTalk Blog Tour: Mama, PhD!

2008-08-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

After writing ten or a dozen reviews for MotherTalk myself, I'm thrilled that for the next two weeks, it's my book being reviewed by the MotherTalk bloggers. Here are some highlights from the first couple days:

“Mama, PhD is not just a shoulder to cry on for readers grappling with what they may have thought were unique troubles in juggling academia and motherhood, it is also a call to arms for women and men in academia to make change happen, to make academia a place consistent with the lives of both men and women. Evans and Grant, the editors of the book, understand that there is a power in speaking out, that when women hear many other women are struggling in exactly the same fashion we suddenly see our experiences not as personal incompetence but as a larger injustice.”
--blue milk

“I hope that Mama, PhD will spread the word through the bastions of higher education: policies that marginalize women also marginalize our children, our future, and our present. The glass ceiling is cracking in the business world; the marble ceiling has shattered, but gender equity hasn’t cracked the ivory tower yet.”
--Compost Happens

"I loved that a wide range of disciplines, ages, geography, and experiences are represented by the essays. The women representing the sciences, psychology, economics, and history add a depth to the conversation, one that I'm not sure could be achieved in a book of MFA's and English PhD's. Consequently, I would make this book a must-read and a must-gift for any woman contemplating or living with a graduate degree. Because so many of the women report being blindsided by parenthood and its impact on their careers, I think this is an especially important read for those considering a graduate degree."
--Life Is a Banquet

And from Peter's Cross Station:

"... it's not all about the choice between dropping out or suffering, Mama PhD also tells more than one tale of a mother at the end of her rope who was thrown a fresh one by an enlightened advisor, mentor or department chair. There are a few corners of academe that have put all the feminist theory of the past thirty years into some kind of practice and support actual women (and their children). There are small institutions that place a community value on families and children and the well-rounded well being of professors."

Check out the MotherTalk site for more updates on the tour!

Saturday Sea Lions

2008-08-17T11:47:00.000-07:00

The Marine Mammal Center, just north of us in Marin County, rescues, rehabilitates and then releases between five hundred and a thousand orphaned and injured seals, sea lions, otters and other marine mammals every year. Yesterday, we got to witness 8 sea lions being released back into the wild (there were 9 ready to go back to the sea, but apparently one managed to release himself before we got to the beach; nice!) The eight were released in two groups, and when the first carrier was opened, the sea lion came out, sniffed the air, and then walked over to the other carriers, waiting for the rest of the group before they all headed down to the water together.

A Tale of Three Restaurants

2008-08-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

A blog post -- with lots of pictures! -- about eating out with the boys in France, over at the Learning to Eat blog. Check it out!

Four Things Meme

2008-08-11T13:09:00.001-07:00

Because Ericka is recovering from her cold, but I haven't yet, I'm doing everything she's doing today. Including this meme, even though I should probably be sleeping...

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1. Babysitter/mother's helper
2. Hardware salesgirl
3. Fabric swatch cutter at Esprit
4. Permissions manager at a literary agency, a job which required that I call Maurice Sendak daily

Four movies I've watched more than once:
1. Manny and Lo
2. The Searchers
3. Big Night
4. Toy Story 2

Four places I have lived:
1. Tokyo
2. Oxford
3. Manhattan
4. Berkeley

Four TV shows I watch:
1. Mad Men
2. Top Chef
3. Project Runway
4. Weeds

Four places I have been:
1. The Philippines (does it count if I don't remember?)
2. Moscow (ditto)
3. Barcelona
4. Toledo

Four people who email me regularly:
1. Libby
2. Elrena
3. My parents (one of whom has a blog)
4. Literary Mama editors seeking approvals on pieces they want to publish (and if any of you are reading this, I know I'm behind! you're next!)

Four of my favorite foods:
1. chocolate
2. peaches
3. chard, sauteed with pine nuts and raisins (really)
4. homemade granola

Four of my favorite beverages:
1. milk
2. tea
3. water
4. red wine

Four places I'd rather be right now (at the moment, I'm sitting in the boys' room waiting for Eli to fall asleep for his nap, so I'm not really complaining...)
1. out in the sun
2. back on the French barge with my family
3. in a bookstore
4. in bed

Four things I'm looking forward to in the next year:
1. Mama, PhD readings
2. taking the boys to my parents' house (next week!)
3. finding a great publisher for Learning to Eat
4. watching the boys move on to 1st grade and preschool

If you read this, consider yourself tagged!

Sweet Dreams

2008-08-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

Ben's never been a particularly terrific sleeper. He didn't really sleep through the night until he was three, when we threw so many changes at him at once (new house! big boy bed! toilet training! baby brother! preschool!) that, clearly exhausted by all the upheaval, he finally started sleeping through. And for a time, his sleeping was pretty good, although I couldn't really appreciate it (on account of the new baby), but I had my wits sufficiently about me to note it in my journal: "We've never had such a run of great sleep. If only I could sleep so well!"

Since then the sleep has come, and it has gone, and right now it is gone. He doesn't fall to sleep easily, he doesn't stay asleep. Occasionally we have tried charts and rewards for staying in bed all night, and have had varying degrees of success, but I think he just might not ever be the kind of person who sleeps from night to day without being awake in the middle of the night for a while. And I don't stress about that too much because he gets it from me, after all (and a middle of the night cuddle from a warm kid isn't so bad).

But the hopping out of bed every ten minutes for 2 hours after I've said goodnight drives me wild. I am not at my best mom self after much of that. So, inspired by Aliki's post the other about the other part of the sleep issue, we are taking steps.

Ben is beset by worries and bad dreams; most recently he has worried about being a passenger on the Titanic, or about falling off his bike during the Tour de France. So we've been talking a lot about worried thoughts and happy thoughts, and trying to switch from one to the other (again, who am I to parent him through this?!) And he likes to make lists, so we decided that a list by his bed, of good dreams, might be useful fodder for him to refer to when he is anxious. I suggested the first thing on the list, and then he got into the spirit of it and really started to dream big.

I think his prize for staying in bed will be making pain au chocolat.

Mission: Eiffel Tower

2008-08-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

The first time we'd tried to visit the Eiffel Tower, we traveled via the batobus, which offers a scenic ride down the Seine.

Too scenic, as it turned out.

We arrived at 7pm and faced lines that snaked from the entrance back and forth all the way across the plaza. We were without sufficient food or line distractions to survive the wait, so we risked – and faced – the boys' loud and bitter disappointment by turning back and regrouping.

The next day was stormy and windy and Eli didn't nap. We debated: on the one hand, the weather might be keeping the crowds down; maybe a tired boy would be a docile and patient line stander…. But probably not, on both counts. We stayed home and cooked dinner.

Finally, we planned our ascent of the Eiffel Tower like mountaineers plan for Everest. In this case, Tony and I were the Tibetan sherpas, and the boys were Sandy Hill Pittman, who show up and have every desire met, needing only to put their bodies where they're told and not use up too much oxygen. I was grateful they didn't want cappuccino (although come to think of it, at the base of the Eiffel Tower, that would be easy to provide).

We'd been advised that the lines are shorter in the late afternoon, so we waited until after Eli's nap, hoping that the boys would be well-rested, the lines a little easier, and that we'd get up to the top and out before it was way too late for dinner (or even bed). We brought Eli's view master and discs, Ben's journal, 2 cameras (since Ben's a big photographer now), and windbreakers in case it was cold at the top. More importantly, I spent Eli's naptime packing up food:

carrot sticks, water bottles, baby bell cheeses, 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, 2 nutella sandwiches (never underestimate the motivating power of chocolate), 2 Z bars, and a ziploc bag of almonds and raisins. We set off at 4, arriving at the base at 5pm. Tony grabbed a bench with the boys while I staked out our place on line.

We didn't make it out without any tears (from Eli, when I started walking down a flight of stairs holding his hand rather than letting him hold the banister):

But, we made it up, we made it down, and we made it back home, our backpacks empty, four and a half hours later.

cross-posted at Learning to Eat

Carousels

2008-08-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

There were many things we loved about our two weeks in France. I got to meet my long-time computer friend, Susannah, and her family; Ben got to practice his newly-acquired French (which was charming except when he was frustrated with us, and would shout a begrudging "D'accord!"); we all got to eat lots of ice cream and crepes and nutella and pain au chocolat.

But perhaps our favorite thing about France was the carousels. It seemed like every park, every plaza, practically every wide spot in the road had a carousel plunked down in it, and the boys rode them all. They learned to distinguish between up-and-down horses and rearing-back horses; they learned to look for leather belts that weren't too worn down to buckle (because those rearing-back horses reared waaaay back!); they learned that sometimes it's pleasant to ride the carousel on a bench swing, or a stationary, climb inside (rather than climb aboard) animal, or even a bench.

In Paris, we found carousels outside Sacre Coeur and in the Tuileries, and in the Jardin du Luxembourg. The one near Sacre Coeur was double-decker, the first we encountered (though we went on to see them in Montpelier and Avignon, too):

The carousel in the Jardin du Luxembourg doesn't look like much; it's not as sparkly bright and bejeweled as the others. It's a single decker, rather small and delicate, there's no music, and the animals, who are all sorely in need of a fresh coat of paint, don't move up and down, or rear back, they just sway genty back and forth.

But none of that matters, because here, after the carousel operator checks each rider's buckle and gently pats each animal's head, he hands each child a short wooden stick, and as they spin round and round, picking up speed as they go, they get to try to catch a brass ring on the end of their stick.

The kids love it, and the parents all cheer their kids on -- suddenly carousel-riding became an exciting spectator sport, and we all had a ball.

A new book, a new blog...

2008-07-30T10:02:00.000-07:00

Mama, PhD is just starting to make its way out in the world, and yet my attention is split between that and my new book project, Learning to Eat, which I'm co-editing with Mama, PhD contributor Lisa Harper.

As the book proposal makes the rounds, we're blogging about feeding our kids. Right now, our summer travels have us writing about learning to eat in Hawaii, in Paris, and on airplanes, but eventually, we'll get back to where it all started: the kitchen, the playground, the dinner table.

Come join the conversation!

Eight

2008-07-30T08:32:00.001-07:00

It was good to get home yesterday, after a long and emotional day (two airplane rides, Evan Kamida's beautiful memorial service, and one big earthquake), to find that all my guys had remembered Tony's and my anniversary.

Perhaps it doesn't make sense to get anniversary cards from one's children, but they just like to celebrate. Perhaps, even more, it doesn't make sense to get a card in the shape of a famously sunken ship, but the boys just like boats right now (if you're having trouble telling the two boats apart, just remember that the Queen Mary has 3 smoke stacks, the Titanic has four. I did not know this at the beginning of the summer).

A Titanic love, is how I'm thinking of it.

Mama, PhD on The Debutante Ball

2008-07-28T06:11:00.000-07:00

Months ago, the lovely and talented Gail Konop Baker, a former Literary Mama columnist, invited Elrena and me to guest blog at The Debutante Ball, a group blog for writers publishing their first book. It was a fun post to write -- and I hope a fun post to read! Here's an excerpt from "3,000 Miles, Two Writers, One Book:"

Meet over email. Of course; you live, after all, 3,000 miles apart, but it helps our relationship get into writing right away. We are literally words on a page (screen) to each other for the first year of our collaboration (we don’t even talk on the phone!) It doesn’t hurt that we meet via Elrena’s submission to the section of Literary Mama that Caroline is editing at the time.

Meet when one of you is pregnant. This helps get the conversation personal, pronto, as Caroline cautions Elrena that she might not get back to her very promptly with edits.

Don’t always stick to the point. We know we are both writers, and mothers, and if we’d stayed on topic it might have stayed at that. Instead, we digress into breastfeeding and parenting and graduate school and ivory tower life — and friendship. And then, ultimately, a book.

Click on over to The Debutante Ball to read the rest!

Literary Mama Columns

2008-07-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

We've published three terrific new columns this week. I'm particularly grateful for the sensitive, sadly timely Me and My House:

As I nurse my son, I think about women as priests, as deacons, and I think about women who lay no claim to such titles, but whose lives show forth the same devotion. Women who gladly give of themselves in the service of others. For the past few weeks I haven't needed to venture outside of my house to find a community of people to care for me; women have brought the Body of Christ to me.

Click on over to Literary Mama to read more.

Pause

2008-07-25T19:27:00.000-07:00

Evan David Kamida
July 30, 2000 - July 24, 2008

I learned yesterday that Literary Mama columnist Vicki Forman's son Evan died suddenly, and I have not been able to think of anything else since.

Vicki and I have never met in person, though we've exchanged writing and music and were looking forward to doing a reading together next month. I never met Evan, or his big sister, or Vicki's husband, but I got to know them all a little bit through Vicki's gorgeous writing. Now, somehow, Evan is gone and the writing is all that's left. It's a wonderful tribute to her strong and spirited son, but oh, Vicki. . . I wish you still had your boy.

I've posted a note at Literary Mama, where readers can send a note to Vicki and contribute to a memorial fund in Evan's name.

Automatic Pilot

2008-07-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

Years ago, when I was studying for my PhD exams and thus doing a lot of procrastinatory reading, I indulged in one of those fabulously long New Yorker articles about something you don't particularly think you're interested in, but the writing draws you in despite the topic (I lost the better part of a week in college to a 3-part piece about interstate trucking).

This happened to be a piece about pilots, and how airline pilots learn to fly, how difficult it is to get the hours in the air required for a commercial pilot's license unless you're in the military first (or independently wealthy). And while I was absorbed in the piece, I mentioned it to a friend, whose dad was a commercial pilot at the time, and he said that while of course there's a lot of complicated work involved in flying a plane, in some ways, once you've got that big bird up in the air, it's kind of like driving a bus. And I found that so comforting, somehow. I've never been terribly afraid of flying, but it always used to make me feel a bit anxious, like I needed to concentrate very hard to keep the plane aloft. But now, after the take-off is accomplished and the plane's leveled off, I tend to relax and think, "Automatic pilot. Like driving a bus."

Having spent 11 hours on planes yesterday, and today feeling the effects of the 10-hour time difference I crossed, I've been thinking a lot about automatic pilot, and how much I wish I could engage it right now. Of course, pilots don't use it when they are tired, but to avoid getting tired. They can set the course and relax a bit, knowing that they don't have to concentrate for five or ten solid hours on each little adjustment required to keep a plane in the air. Now I'm not saying that my life here at home is quite like keeping a plane flying, and I'm not responsible for 300 people in this house, but the two people I do share responsibility for are reacting to their jet lag with an astonishing relentlessness, requiring continual food and drink and books and thoughtful responses to incessant "why" questions (Eli will not be brushed off with "Because" right now) and tape and markers and help with lego creations. They are very happy, and very energetic, and --unlike most days when they will go off and play by themselves for a little while and even (Eli anyway) nap for a couple hours in the middle of it--requiring a lot of participation and witnessing to their play, while I just want to curl up in a ball and nap. Why don't they? That's my why question for the day.

I guess the auto-pilot system for parenting is called a babysitter. With all the plans I made for this trip, that's one that slipped through the cracks. Next time.

Desktop

2008-07-03T13:14:00.000-07:00

We're on the verge of leaving town, but this post by MomBrain inspired me to stop packing and puttering and organizing for a minute and just take a bloggy little snapshot of my desk. Here's what it holds:

A tube of hand cream and some lip stuff, because a girl can't write if she's distracted by chapped lips and dry hands

A lumpy black rock that fits perfectly in the palm of my hand, from a beach near Seattle

A green resin bracelet made by my late father-in-law (clanks the keyboard too much to write with it on)

A box of tissues

A box of ginger altoids

An empty box of ginger altoids filled with paperclips (and yes, I do reach for the wrong one all the time, and yet I don't feel the need to mark them in any way. It's my little daily surprise.)

A Venetian glass quill pen and a tiny bottle of blue ink, a birthday present from friends when it looked like I was going to make a go of this writing thing

2 pink ribbons with red, heart-shaped Cancer Is A Bitch dog tags on them, plus an early copy of the book, my friend Gail Konop Baker's amazing memoir

A parking ticket

A list of things I can't forget to do before we leave town: grab the boys' loveys from their beds; take the garage door opener out of the car and leave it for the woman who is house sitting; turn off the computers and printers; pack airplane snacks...

Encouraging notes from my guys: a picture of the sun from Tony, 3 colorful splotches from Eli, and "I hope you feel better!" from Ben

Review copies of The Dinner Diaries by Betsy Block and Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself by Amy Richards, books on subjects near and dear to my heart

A red clay heart that Ben made for me in preschool

A copy of my book proposal; a copy of a friend's book proposal; a copy of an essay I'm trying to write

An empty glass of water. Come to think of it, I'm thirsty!

Guidebooks

2008-06-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

We're leaving for a big vacation in a few days, and so Tony and I have been reading a lot of guidebooks:

Apparently, Ben thought he could do just as well:

We have a winner!

2008-06-29T13:26:00.001-07:00

But don't let that stop you from posting a review on Amazon -- there'll be more great prizes coming later this summer.

Mama, PhD: The Giveaway

2008-06-27T16:08:00.001-07:00

Did you hear about the Mama, PhD gear? We've got t-shirts, of course, and hats and bags, but did you also know we have the all-important license plate holders and beer steins at our Cafe Press shop? Sure, why not?

So as long as we're making all this stuff, I'll be giving some away to faithful readers every once in a while. Today, I've got one men's large Mama, PhD t-shirt for the first person to post a brief review of the book on our Amazon page. And by brief, I do mean brief; if all you have in you is "Nice cover!" then I'll be satisfied with that. I'm just looking for a little action over there. Post your blurb, send me the link, and you get a cozy t-shirt, good for a nightshirt, beach cover up, or a gift to the Mama, PhD-supporting man in your life.

And next month, maybe I'll give away a stein!

First Tomato (Sandwich)

2008-06-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

Libby's recent column over at Literary Mama brought me back to one of my favorite series, the Bunny Planet books by Rosemary Wells. In each one, a bunny is having a pretty lousy day until the Bunny Queen, Janet, whisks the animal off to the Bunny Planet for "the day that should have been."

I've always identified most with the hapless Claire, who doesn't get a good breakfast and whose shoes fill with snow on the way to school; she has to sit through two hours of math at school (no matter how long the math lesson was, it always felt like two hours to me), is served baloney sandwiches for lunch, and then is the only girl in her gym class who can't do a cartwheel: this sounds like any number of bad days in my childhood!

Luckily, in the Bunny Planet, it's summer and Claire is home, where she can pick vegetables from her garden and then hang out in the kitchen watching her mother cook -- this, in turn, sounds like any number of good days from my childhood.

Claire's mother makes her soup from the summer's first tomato, but I think my mother would agree that the best thing to do with the very first tomato is a sandwich, and that's what I made today: just one sliced tomato, on toast, with some mayonnaise, salt and pepper. Yum.

I ate mine too fast to take a picture; this image is from Out of the Garden

Mama, PhD: The Movie

2008-06-24T13:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true, the book's been out a couple weeks now (though we're not yet at our official publication date), the blog's been going for a couple of months, and even the store is doing some brisk business in Mama, PhD gear. Clearly it was time for the next step (clearly Elrena either had a pressing deadline, or had just a bit of time on her hands!):